How to get rid of trauma

So i guess you’re wondering how to get rid of trauma. What I want to talk to you about today is trauma. Trauma is that whenever we have any traumatic experience, generally what happens is, our mind remembers a snapshot of that event. It then reminds of the feeling whenever anything similar occurs.

How does trauma start?

So that whenever you think about the traumatic event, you always get almost like this little window of this is what happened. And the reason why your mind does that is to try to protect you.

When it doesn’t show you though is the events before the traumatic event happened or afterwards when you actually survived it, and got on with life. So whenever you are struggling with something like PTSD or trauma, whenever you think about those things, your mind is constantly giving you those snapshots, and they are the ones that have the most emotional charge connected to them.

So that whenever you think about them, you’re always getting almost like a charge of electricity. It’s where your body is literally giving you an electrical style sensation. So the problem with that is that it’s, it seems to be almost like a permanent loop.

The memory of trauma creates the emotions

So if you think about it, you feel it, you think about it, you feel it. The more that you think about it the more you feel it, and it can actually get into a habit, a habit of thinking and feeling that for most of the day, which is why trauma affects so many people these days.

So the traditional method is to have counselling, or CBT therapy where counselling what you would do is every week you would talk to someone about that traumatic event.  You then go through it and in some cases, relive it with the idea that you would resolve it somehow, by re experiencing that and talking about it.

Unfortunately, in my experience that is not the case at all. Many of my clients who come to see me to see how to get rid of trauma have actually been traumatised and made even worse, through going through such a procedure like that. What tends to happen is though, through analysis and going through with different therapies and remembering it all. You end up starting to bring new memories to the forefront memories that your mind even put to the back.

So now you’ve got even more negative memories that are coming to the forefront of your mind. So, there is a much more modern way that we can deal with trauma, and negative memories. The modern approach is that we’re able to now remove the feeling from negative memories.

Now, it happens one or two ways. One is that when you come to think about the old memory, you simply won’t be able to, you just, your brain will just not be able to remember what happened, or you will be able to think about it, but you actually won’t be able to bring back that old feeling. And the more you try to bring it back, the more impossible it becomes.

So, let me ask you a question. Which one, which method sounds the best reliving old memories? Feeling how you felt, week after week, or actually just removing that feeling? So you can actually now remember how it was rather than how it felt.

Because the moment you start to associate feelings and with memories, your ability to logically think things through becomes very very difficult. So that’s what we do with modern trauma therapy techniques.

How to get rid of trauma

Today, we are, we don’t have to relive them, we can remove feelings, so that you’re able to move on with your life. Get over your life, put it behind you, and just get on with things. So if that makes sense and if that sounds good. You can always get a little chat with me booked in. Also check out the services page for more info.

Stop negative thoughts

Negative thoughts create self fulfilling prophecies. That was a Facebook post I posted recently but what does it really mean? It means that what you think about negatively, is actually creating it in the future. So you definitely need to stop negative thoughts from becoming a part of your thinking.

Why you need to stop thinking so negatively

So, by the very fact that you’re thinking about what you don’t want, you’re actually asking your mind to create it. Whether it be an argument, whether it be a problem at work, whether it be a problem at home, whatever it is.

What you think about is going to manifest it or a version of it. So it could be something as simple as thinking  I’ve got a train journey and I really don’t want to feel anxious on that train. And then what you do is you start imagining how you would feel, and the events that could happen.

How anxiety starts

Let’s imagine you’ve got that train journey weekend ahead. And what you’re thinking about is, every day, being anxious on that train. What you’re actually doing is rehearsing, to be anxious. And there’s a very high probability that when you get there that that will be the case, then you start thinking the trains the problem!

The train isn’t the problem. It’s the fact that without realising it, you’ve been rehearsing anxiety. You’ve been rehearsing having panic attacks or whatever it is that you do. So your negative thoughts then become that self fulfilling prophecy.

The solution to negative thoughts

So, we have to be very careful what we think about, because without realising it people are rehearsing their next problem. You must stop negative thoughts before they get a grip. And it seems so innocent, doesn’t it. Think about what you don’t want because you think surely, by thinking about what I don’t want, I’m going to prevent it, or at very least, I’ll be better prepared for it.

So what you need to do instead is think about what outcome, do I want on that train, on that job interview, in that personal thing that is going on in your life. What is the outcome that I do want, and actually start mentally rehearsing, that outcome instead.

Hope that makes sense why you must stop negative thoughts. If you want more personal assistance with this you can book in a chat with me below.

Addictive personality

Do you have an addictive personality? Do all the things that you do, have to be in excess? Do you drink to excess, drugs to excess gamble to excess is everything that you do in your life, excessive? If so, you probably think you’ve got an addictive personality.

The truth about addictive personalities

The funny thing is whenever people ring me up and tell me that they’ve got an addictive personality, 95% of them are men. Why is that? Well, men often believe they’ve got addictive personalities that means they can’t control their urges.

The question is, do they really have an addictive personality, or do they have too much money? Do they have too much money in their pockets, because I’ll guarantee, whenever people tell me they’ve got an addictive personality they earn very good money.

Addictive personality – Too much money, too much free time?

And they squander the waste all the time. But what they say to themselves is “well it’s just me, it’s just my personality”. The Truth About addictive personality is that if you believe you genuinely do have one, you will be here if that were you, your actions will be governed by that belief that that’s who you are, and that’s what you’ll experience.

And if you continue to believe you’ve got an addictive personality, one that you can’t control what you do, guess what you’re going to do more of it. I honestly believe the real reason why people believe they’ve got issues is because of the belief itself. 

The power of belief

The most powerful thing in the world that we have as human beings is the power of our own beliefs, and the belief that our personalities are something that’s stuck in our DNA. 

If you really believe that, you will live your life like that. So instead, I want you to believe that you don’t have an addictive personality. It’s just that in the past you’ve made some very very bad choices, and you haven’t learned from them. So use that instead.

Because if you believe you’ve got an addictive personality, you’re always going to be making bad choices bad mistakes and you’re going to need to do bad things in life. But what you’ve really got to do is actually take responsibility for your behaviour for how you behave. Also the actions and choices that you make.

Change the thought pattern

And that is the very very first step of actually breaking that fault cycle. So use this information, and start to talk to yourself differently starting to tell yourself that you don’t have addictive personality at all.

In fact, all you’ve got is a past where you’ve made some bad choices. Instead tell yourself that you’ve got a strong personality, that you’ve got a lot of willpower that you’ve got a lot of common sense. Start to tell yourself that every day.

You will literally remove this, this false belief that you’ve got this personality type. If you really genuinely have an addictive personality well you’ll be addicted to everything. It’s funny how people have in the car that it tends to be the usual three things up they’re addicted to, alcohol, drugs, or gambling.

Summary

In reality, sometime we just need to grow up and take responsibility. So I hope that makes sense and maybe that resonates with you. I hope it does. If you want one to one help with this check out my 1-2-1 service HERE

Obsessional thinking

Hi Steve Norton anxiety specialist here. What I want to talk about today is obsessional thinking. Do you suffer from obsessional thinking? Let’s find out!

What is obsessional thinking?

What I want to talk about today is obsessional thinking. Do you suffer from obsessional thinking? So the last 18 months since the pandemic, I’ve seen a massive rise with people contacting me and working with me with obsessional thinking. And it is obviously part of the OCD family, but I’ll give you some examples of some things that people obsess about these days.

Health anxiety, obsessing that that they’ve got an illness, when they don’t have one, is one of the massive major things that I deal with every day.

It’s also very common to obsess over being too healthy. You can actually obsess over your fitness levels, obsess about the gym, obsess about how many times you work out, or don’t work out. There are so many different things to obsess about. Your food, what you should and shouldn’t eat. It never ever ends, and with all these obsessions. You can move from one obsession to the next.

OCD and obsessive thinking

So one obsession dies out and is replaced by another one. All OCD like behaviour is created by an underlying anxiety, at some level of something not quite right with your life.

Either. What’s going on your life, OR the way you run your mind. 

So obsessional behaviour is definitely on the increase and it’s hardly surprising. After what we’ve all been through in the last 18 months. But there is a treatment for it, and I call it Thought Retraining. So this is what I teach all my clients when they join my online program, it’s all covered in that.

So basically obsessional thinking can be reversed. With the same process that you created it. We can reverse it, because you can actually get obsessional about changing this, and changing the processes of your brain. I find when people with OCD tendencies very easy to work with because they always do things diligently.

They never forget. So if you’re struggling at the moment with obsessional tendencies, no matter what it is, how you look, how much you weigh, whatever it is, understanding that at the bottom of it. In most most cases, there is anxiety there that’s underpinning all of that. So if you need some help with that get in touch.

Certainly have a look at my online rapid anxiety elimination program, which really is good for people who have got little time for appointments, and they want to get on with it straight away.

They don’t want to wait for a week for appointments that they just want to come straight onto and start to learn the thought retraining process so I hope that makes sense. And if that’s you, it can be changed, you can reverse it. Keep believing, and I’ll see you again soon for another video.

Do you have anxiety and don’t realise it

Do you have anxiety without even realising it? Can you relate to some of the following symptoms? A lot of people don’t even realise they’ve actually got anxiety because people with anxiety tend to have very similar ways of thinking.

So let’s run through some Anxiety traits and see if these resonate with you.

Paranoia. Do you feel like people are talking about you. Do you think that people are saying things behind your back. Do you feel as if people are plotting against you, saying nasty things all the time, if that was what you do, that is an anxiety trait

People pleasing. Always wanting to people, always wanting people to say thank you, always wanting to help people all the time, and you feel as if like, if you don’t do it for them, something will go wrong in their lives. So you feel as if almost as if you are responsible for their lives. If that sounds like you. That’s an anxiety trait.

Perfectionism. Are you a perfectionist? Do you want everything to be perfect? And even when it’s done you’re very self critical about your work or what you’ve done. And you always think critically about any work you’ve done. Picking fault with it thinking it could have been better. If so, That is it an anxiety trait.

There are so many anxiety traits that people don’t even realise, are part of the anxiety family. Especially when you start adding these things up. Lets say for instance you’re doing three of those things, you will be an anxious person. When we look at, anxiety, and the mechanics of it, generally, most people with anxiety, are doing the same things in their heads.

They’re creating the same results. I call it swimming with a shoal, the shoal of fishes. All people with anxiety do roughly the same sort of thinking patterns in the heads. And when we look at people who are happy, they’re not using those patterns.

How happy people think

They don’t think like that, they’re not paranoid and don’t feel as if they’re responsible for the world. They’re not overly critical, and all those other things. So what I do my anxiety programme is I’m basically teaching people how to change shoals.

So instead of following the shoal of anxiety people and doing what anxious people do and how they think, I teach people how happy people think. Because there’s a different way that happy people think, compared to how anxious people think. 

So if that sounds interesting, and you want to know more about it, you can book consultation with me. And as always, subscribe to this YouTube channel, and I’ll be getting new videos out every single week. So have a great day, and hope to hear from you soon. Bye for now.

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