How to stop feeling self conscious

Are you self conscious?

One of the most common signs of anxiety is self consciousness. I hear most days from clients that they think people either think negatively about them or are even talking about them. This “what will people think” mindset causes much anxiety.

This can cause much paranoia and is almost certainly only “in the mind” of the person who experiences it. The idea that they are in the forefront of someone else’s mind is simply not true. In the same way we are in our own little bubble thinking about ourselves, there are doing the same. We are not in other people’s thinking as much as we think.

In reality people aren’t walking around thinking about us. In the anxious state though the paranoia runs free and we look for clues to validate our belief that people are secretly talking about us behind our backs or thinking bad about us. We then take over the role of the “mind reader” where we actually think we know what other people are thinking about us.

It’s funny when you mind read though, you never think that they think anything nice about you! It’s always negative. Yet if you really could read minds you would be rich, you’d be on TV you’d be a celebrity. Are you any of these things? No. So you can’t read minds so it’s just paranoid thinking then.

So whenever you try to “read people’s minds” there’s usually only 1 outcome. You will think something negative. It’s rare you will ever think “they think I’m great”. Let’s face it not everyone will like us in life. Do you like everyone you meet? No. If people like us that’s great if they don’t let them jog on.

You weren’t put here to please people, if they don’t like your personality it’s fine. You don’t like everyone’s personality either. It works both ways. Some people will like you some won’t. It’s the way it’s always been. So when you accept this it creates peace. It gives you closure. You stop bending your personality to try and please people. They aren’t bending to please you. All you do is lose yourself when you try to please.

Written by request.

Best wishes